A month or two back, when the days were still freezing, windy and dark (as opposed to just windy and freezing) I had a moment of whimsey and hopped onto the British Cycling website looking for bike races that I might enter this year. Just to see if that’s something I might like to do. Knowing full well that if I got as far as finding a race, getting a licence, entering, and being excepted, that I would absolutely brick my pants on the day I had to actually line up.
To be clear – I’ve never raced before. In fact I haven’t even done many sportives since I started riding a road bike, maybe only one per year on average over the last 8 years. I just never thought to enter them unless pushed into it through a work charity ride or going with a friend who’s idea it was.
So when the email came through today, one and a half weeks out from the race, saying “see you on the start line” I did mildly brick my pants, I’ll admit. A more severe bricking will be reserved for the weekend in question.
I really have very little idea what to expect, only as much as I can glean from an ex-racer who only recently quit and now works with me. My gut says I should be training, as hard as I can, although I’m stuck working in Germany until Saturday. I’m certainly not the fittest I’ve ever been, but I am the lightest I’ve been in many years, which gives me a little confidence. But then I remember how many more women are really into cycling now, compared to the ‘good old days’ when I was pretty much the only girl around here logging bike rides on strava, winning every QOM by default. There’s a lot of strong women around here.
I think the main thing I’m concerned about is the group aspect – riding very close to other riders. It’s something I’ve done before but never sustained for a long time. I don’t count riding with one friend and sitting on their wheel, swapping turns in the wind – it’s having people either side of me I’m worried about. I’m scared I’ll do something wrong and be responsible for a big pile up.
Well, there’s not much I can do for the time being, besides finish up here in Germany, go home Friday night and plan a big ride for Saturday. Maybe if I ride enough I can quell some of my fears.
But probably not.
– Esp
