Since receiving email confirmation that I’ll be doing my first bike race next Sunday, I’ve been sorting through my own feelings of enormous insecurity, and inadequacy, and generally feeling pretty stupid for signing up for a race that’s so soon. It’s not that I terribly regret it, because I absolutely did want to give racing a go, it’s more that I might have picked rather a hard one to start with. It looks like cat 4 riders like me will be in the minority, there’s more 2nd and 3rd cats there. And it’s a fair distance at about 65km. In the back of my mind I suppose I didn’t really think I’d get a place, since I don’t belong to any local club (besides the Rapha CC, not really local) and have little idea what I’m doing.
But since I just got back from my 4 day work trip in Germany yesterday evening, I knew I had to make today count so I headed out on a ride with a friend to recce the 14.5km race circuit which we’ll be riding around 4.5 times. Riding out there was a decent whack, so we just did one loop and came back, total distance of 66km.
It was for the best that Ben pretty much tore my legs off for most of the ride, and my “I forgot to eat lunch” excuse can only carry me so far… I felt slow. Yes, it was windy, but not that windy. Empty belly or not, it’s pretty clear to me that it’s going to be a real job just to hold onto the bunch next week, and if and when I get dropped, it’s going to be a mental struggle not to quit.
So I’m calling myself out now: Don’t quit. Even if you’re dropped. Even if you’re lapped, just ride the whole thing and go home. I’ve got to find my inner Matty Hayman. (Check out the GreenEdge Backstage Pass from last Sunday’s Paris Roubaix if you didn’t catch it, really, really worth a watch.)
-esp
